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Great is Any Confusion

You always want what you can't have.

True. It's one of those statements that is widely accepted, and everyone has experienced it at some point in their lives. When something or someone is out of our reach, we seem to want it, need it. Likewise, when something or someone suddenly becomes accessible, the desire fades. Is it because we desire the chase and not the actual person themselves? Or perhaps we never wanted it in the first place; we just liked the idea of it all. Either way, it's annoying. I'm left questioning my feelings with absolutely no idea what I want.

It's funny how the turn of events on a typical day can lead you second guessing what until that point would have seemed to be nothing less than perfect. But then again, perfection is a flaw, and it's always too good to be true.

This is how I feel at the moment, and I'm not a big fan of math. Needless to say, my head is a terrible place to be.



"There is no failure except in no longer trying."

How many times have we all heard that before? Although I completely agree with this statement. I recently discovered that there is another kind of failure. That is to not give something your all, to not try your best. Let me tell you, that's the worst feeling. To fail, but knowing that I could have done so much better. To know that there is no one to blame but myself. If I had failed giving it my best try, there would be no regrets, no failure.

It's pretty weird how long it has taken me to figure this out. I guess it's because I usually give my best in everything I do. There have been times that I haven't, but those have also been the times that I have somehow gotten by.
Wake up call: it doesn't work that way anymore. Call it the real world or even growing up. There is no more just getting by, no more slacking.

Although I feel badly, it is also true that..
"To be wrong is nothing unless you continue to remember it." -Confucius
I will remember this but only to remind myself that I need give my best, no matter what. I will be sure to remember this tomorrow as I embark on yet another adventure. Wish me luck.

Our failures lead us to the road of success.


Guilty As Charged

If loving fashion is a crime, I plead guilty.

To most people, it might seem like nothing less than crazy to think about outfits, clothes, and jewelry constantly. It is somewhat obsessive to sit in class thinking about what you are going to wear the next day instead of actually paying attention or thinking about which top will go best with the cute little skirt you just bought instead of listening to your best friend’s urgent story. Although this is what happens to me, even I have always found it crazy. Why the constant thoughts about something that many people do not even put any thought in to? And then I realized the importance of those perfect-fitting jeans or that little black dress.

When all else fails, when everything seems to be going wrong, when everyone seems to be letting you down, clothes do not. They do not change, and they are always there. They are a way to get noticed, a way to get attention. They give you that much-needed self-esteem boost. They give you confidence, and maybe even enough to go talk the cutie that has been catching your eye lately. When I am down, instead of bumming out, I wear a cute little dress, and somehow, it makes me feel just a tad bit better. Even if I may not be feeling good, at least I know that I am looking good. And the fact is, no matter where you are going or who you might be going with, you never know who you might run in to. Call it fate, destiny, or luck, but there is always something unexpected in store for us all. Since you never know who you could stumble upon, you might as well stumble looking your best. Everyone has something that makes them feel just a little bit better, and although it might seem insane, that is what clothes and accessories do for me. So I might fail my classes, because all I am really doing is trying to think of outfits for the rest of the week, but hey, at least I will fail looking good.

"Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys, they'd just walk around naked at all times. " Betsey Johnson


A Closed Heart

Everyone goes through tough times, some worst than others, but everyone handles things differently. After certain situations, events, or circumstances, some people still manage to see the best in others and expect the best, regardless of what they have been through in the past. Meanwhile, others push everyone away and begin to expect the worst. Both have pros and cons, I suppose. Yes, it's always good to stay optimistic and hope for the best. However, there is a difference between optimism and plain stupidity. People are good and will never disappoint us. It's a good thought. Realistically speaking, there are people that will be out to hurt others, people that only think of themselves. But no matter how many of those you encounter and no matter what happens, you can't lose hope in all mankind. Don't push people away. Don't stop giving people chances. It wouldn't be fair to those who come in your life at a bad time. They could be the best people you might ever come across. Don't close your heart.

I'm speaking from experience. I think that's what I've done. It took me a while to realize this, but I have shut people out, eliminating the slight chance that they could hurt me. I've realized that no matter what you do to protect yourself, those efforts themselves will end up hurting you, just a different kind of hurt, a different pain. Alienating yourself won't do you any good either. If anything, you'll just miss out on the good stuff. So although the people that are considered stupid or naive might get hurt, I envy their ability to open themselves up to new people and situations with no hesitation. Time to open up the heart again. It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Let life happen to you. Isn't the point to enjoy everyone moment?