Playing with Fire

What do you do when the thing you desire most is the same thing that has proven to be catastrophic? It must be avoided at all costs or you'll find yourself playing with fire. After moving forward, why regress to the harmful?

You find the universe leading you to follow your heart. Continuous signs tease you with what you can no longer have. Is it a test, a chance to prove your progress, or a sincere form of permission to let go of your inhibitions?

You begin to question your motives, intentions, feelings, everything. Is this the average case of wanting what you can't have? Perhaps, it's the obvious act of self-destruction. The distractions that seemed to occupy your mind, and possibly even your heart, not too long ago no longer seem to satisfy you. Thus proving that they were, in fact, mere distractions and nothing more. You begin to question each thought, each emotion, in an attempt to differentiate illusions from reality.

You ignore the signs for as long as possible. What are "signs" anyway? Don't they just hold as much significance as you allow them to? Seeing that car on the road meant nothing to you until you started dating and eventually broke up with an owner of one. To an extent, we see what we want to see and avoid what we can't bear to face.

So, you convince yourself that this is nothing more than a series of continuous coincidences. Continue on with your duties and responsibilities as usual. Divert your attention with anything and everything possible. Remind yourself of the previous destruction that no longer seems as horrible as it once did. Do it all yet do nothing until you reach the point when your feelings will finally surpass all possible rationale. The point when you finally decide to follow your heart, risking everything in the process.

"And it was in that moment that I realized that no matter what would be said or left unsaid, this wasn't the end. There has to be much more to this story."

Fuel for Change

There comes a time when we find ourselves at crossroad. We find ourselves at an intersection at which we have to make a decision. We can think, over-analyze and play out both situations in our minds in hopes of determining which one will be more advantageous. Although, it doesn’t really help when you are unable to predict how each route might turn out or when you can be certain that neither option will transport you to your desired destination. What’s worse is when you cannot turn to your usual allies for help. Sometimes, that’s due to false steps made in the past, and other times, it’s just nothing more than a shitty situation. Either way, there comes a time, when you just have to leave things in the hands of God, nature, fate, destiny, the universe or whatever it is you believe in and hope that they are on your side.

               

I’m completely against the idea of relying on faith only when you are facing difficulties; it is important to always be thankful and have a clear channel of communication with whomever or whatever it is you believe in. For me, that’s God. However, it is only natural to ask for help. And it is in times like these that we hope for a miracle. We expect problems and worries to immediately disappear. We expect the solution to our problem or the answer to our question to fall from the sky and hit us on the head. If only it were that simple.

Signs are usually given to us a bit more discretely. It could be something as simple as one of your favorite songs playing on the radio that just happens to have relevant lyrics or you randomly stumbling upon a quote that touches your heart and shakes your soul. Sometimes, it’s the people that unexpectedly enter your life and can somehow understand your trials and tribulations. Sometimes, it’s the comfort provided by a dear one telling you everything will be okay, whether you believe it or not. Sometimes, it’s the person you would least expect standing by your side. After all, there must be a reason for people to be placed in your life when they are.

             

 No matter how much of a control freak you may be, situations always arise in which we have no control. As much as you’d like to steer the ship in the direction of your choice, there are times when all you can do is sit back and watch it all unfold. These are the times when you should expect the worst but hope for the best. Here’s to the belief that everything happens for a reason.

Spinning On Our Own, Never to Be Undone

"...He is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."

Isn't that what we all do? We spend hours over-analyzing what we could have said or should have done differently or scripting out that crucial talk that could make or break a relationship. However, the truth is that we can neither change the past nor fully control the future. And as much as we like to think that we have it all under control, there is only so much that is truly within our power. Not everything is in our hands, and sometimes, we just have to ride the tide and go where life takes us.

There's that never-ending battle between fate or destiny and our decision-making power. I'd like to think that life somehow intertwines the conflicting concepts. Certain things are within our control, while others are simply part of a greater plan. So you have your own vision filled with dreams and goals, but you must be able to adapt to anything that life may throw your way. We all live with the idea that we always have tomorrow. We can talk later, and things will come together when the time is right. When in reality, nothing is guaranteed. Just when you think you have it all figured out, life will turn it all upside down; who said it was supposed to be easy?

"Fate is a manifestation of natural causes. That's it. It is not a conscious entity. It has no plans."

And once again, it's all about perspective. You can linger on everything that should have happened differently, everything that you could have done or said that would have changed it all or you can simply make the most of what you have. You can live with the unresolved issues of the past or the fear of the changes the future could bring or just make the most out of the present. You can dwell upon the missed opportunities of the past and the lack of time in the future or simply live in the moment for once.



Say everything that's on your mind and do everything you've been yearning for. It's all about being open to the opportunities and making the most out of the time that you have. Sometimes, the few moments of happiness in the present can make up for all of the heartache of the past and offer greater memories to remember in the future.

So, taking my own advice and listening to my own words, a friend and I have decided to write down at least one thing that makes us happy each day. We're also adding pictures and turning it into a summer scrapbook. It's only been a few days, but I must say that it has made me appreciate all of the little things just a little bit more.

"Enjoy the little things in life. For one day, you'll look back and realize they were the big things."