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Bent and Broken

Ignorance is bliss, or so they say. I've always been against the idea. I feel that acceptance and confrontation make you stronger and help you move on, while ignorance is simply a sign of weakness.

After all, ignoring something just because it is difficult to admit makes you nothing more than weak, right? Does it change things if the confrontation will lead to deterioration rather than growth? Does it change things if the acceptance will snatch away all of the wonderful memories you like to reminisce upon every once in a while? Does it change things if it doesn't improve the present or the future but only eliminates the smiles of the past?

What if this will deplete all of the progress you have made recently and leave you backtracking rather than moving forward? What if this realization will only make all of this that much more difficult the next time around? What if this will change the way you look at the one person that matters? But most importantly, what if this will change the way you look at yourself because it will transform you into a hypocrite?

Ignoring certain conflicts doesn't necessarily signal weakness. It's all about choosing your battles. Fight for the things you believe in and as for the things that don't seem to be worth the consequences, just let them be. Every truth doesn't need to be vocalized, but know it in your heart and mind and act accordingly. Just because you choose not to act upon it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Could ignorance really be bliss? Maybe. 

"Follow your bliss, and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls."


A Song Only You Can Hear

I've always been fascinated with the idea of time. How it has the ability to heal certain wounds and not others. How does so much change with time yet nothing really changes at all? How is it that in certain cases, even a lifetime couldn't be enough yet in other situations, a single moment can change it all?

How can just a few days with someone be nearly enough to lower the guard you have put up for years? How can a few moments of honesty suddenly vanquish the wall that was made sturdier day by day? How can one moment transform an entire relationship, transform it into something you've always been against and it suddenly seem alright. The worries and hesitancies suddenly disappear and for once, you actually find yourself living in the moment. You find yourself enjoying your days rather than stressing about the upcoming consequences. Your rational self is unexpectedly being spontaneous and rather than thinking everything through, all you can do is feel your emotions. It's like some kind of movie, because this just can't be real life.

And just like that, in only a matter of days, hours, moments, things suddenly go back to normal. Things go back to the way they've always been, but it will never quite be the same; you will never quite be the same.

The movie's over, and all you can do is relive it through all of the wonderful memories.

"The suffering that might come from a mistake is usually less intense and less enduring than the suffering of wondering what could have been."


Spinning On Our Own, Never to Be Undone

"...He is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."

Isn't that what we all do? We spend hours over-analyzing what we could have said or should have done differently or scripting out that crucial talk that could make or break a relationship. However, the truth is that we can neither change the past nor fully control the future. And as much as we like to think that we have it all under control, there is only so much that is truly within our power. Not everything is in our hands, and sometimes, we just have to ride the tide and go where life takes us.

There's that never-ending battle between fate or destiny and our decision-making power. I'd like to think that life somehow intertwines the conflicting concepts. Certain things are within our control, while others are simply part of a greater plan. So you have your own vision filled with dreams and goals, but you must be able to adapt to anything that life may throw your way. We all live with the idea that we always have tomorrow. We can talk later, and things will come together when the time is right. When in reality, nothing is guaranteed. Just when you think you have it all figured out, life will turn it all upside down; who said it was supposed to be easy?

"Fate is a manifestation of natural causes. That's it. It is not a conscious entity. It has no plans."

And once again, it's all about perspective. You can linger on everything that should have happened differently, everything that you could have done or said that would have changed it all or you can simply make the most of what you have. You can live with the unresolved issues of the past or the fear of the changes the future could bring or just make the most out of the present. You can dwell upon the missed opportunities of the past and the lack of time in the future or simply live in the moment for once.

Say everything that's on your mind and do everything you've been yearning for. It's all about being open to the opportunities and making the most out of the time that you have. Sometimes, the few moments of happiness in the present can make up for all of the heartache of the past and offer greater memories to remember in the future.

So, taking my own advice and listening to my own words, a friend and I have decided to write down at least one thing that makes us happy each day. We're also adding pictures and turning it into a summer scrapbook. It's only been a few days, but I must say that it has made me appreciate all of the little things just a little bit more.

"Enjoy the little things in life. For one day, you'll look back and realize they were the big things."