A Song Only You Can Hear

I've always been fascinated with the idea of time. How it has the ability to heal certain wounds and not others. How does so much change with time yet nothing really changes at all? How is it that in certain cases, even a lifetime couldn't be enough yet in other situations, a single moment can change it all?

How can just a few days with someone be nearly enough to lower the guard you have put up for years? How can a few moments of honesty suddenly vanquish the wall that was made sturdier day by day? How can one moment transform an entire relationship, transform it into something you've always been against and it suddenly seem alright. The worries and hesitancies suddenly disappear and for once, you actually find yourself living in the moment. You find yourself enjoying your days rather than stressing about the upcoming consequences. Your rational self is unexpectedly being spontaneous and rather than thinking everything through, all you can do is feel your emotions. It's like some kind of movie, because this just can't be real life.

And just like that, in only a matter of days, hours, moments, things suddenly go back to normal. Things go back to the way they've always been, but it will never quite be the same; you will never quite be the same.

The movie's over, and all you can do is relive it through all of the wonderful memories.

"The suffering that might come from a mistake is usually less intense and less enduring than the suffering of wondering what could have been."

Enjoy the Silence

Due to my passion for writing, I understand the intensity of words. However, I think we all forget to say the right ones here and there, because we get lazy, busy, distracted or scared even. We tell ourselves that the ones we love know we do just like the ones we miss know it too. There's no need for repetition; it's simply unnecessary.

But the thing is, while people may know how you feel, hearing it brings with it it's own sensation. It suddenly feels more real, the feelings come to life. The simple "I'm proud of you" or "I love you" can keep one going another day. It can be the motivation they were seeking. 

Certain feelings that you decided to keep hidden could have held together a relationship. The right words could provide redemption for all the time wasted years later. Random honest confessions could provide the closure you were longing for. Knowing something in your heart just isn't enough sometimes; certain things have to be surfaced.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a

listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all

of which have the potential to turn a life around.” 

Yearning to Be Heard

Everything I write is just a fraction of the countless words that are constantly running through my head at any given moment. Sometimes, I wish I had all the time in the world just to release them in a more concrete way. Although writing is the most precise way for me to articulate myself, sometimes you have no other choice but to speak, vent even, and let others know how you feel.

When something is bothering me, when there is an issue or conflict, my first instinct is to talk about it. There is no other way to inform someone about how you feel than to simply tell them. That is also the only way to completely hear the acknowledge the other side, fix things, realize where you stand or even show effort. None of us are mind readers, so it's unfair to assume that any other person can know precisely what you think or how you feel and vice versa without any form of communication.

Agreed that sometimes people and situations need their time and space, too much time can be harmful. If you allow too much time to pass by, is there anything left to discuss? People say that time heals all wounds. Time allows you to move on and in some cases, it can create distance.

One of the main reasons that I have been able to keep up with this blog, other than my love and passion for writing and encouraging followers, is my inability to control my focus. If something is bothering me, it bothers me until I fix it. If there's something I need to say, I will butcher it in my head until I get the opportunity to unleash my words and liberate my thoughts.

Even though this trait usually leads to honesty and conflict resolution, it has a downfall. Communication is a two-way street. If I'm writing, it's so someone will read it. If I'm speaking, I need the other person to listen. Keeping my thoughts to myself isn't always an option but is necessary if others aren't willing to make an effort to hear me out. The frustration attained from the inability to express myself is indescribable. The extent of the distress is able to overpower my mind for days.

They say that actions speak louder than words. However, sometimes hearing what you least wanted to and speaking the most difficult words are necessary. Everything else leaves room for interpretation, room for the possibility that things could be different. And sometimes, the lack of actions speak even louder. The silence can sometimes be just as powerful as the words yearning to be heard.