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Relationship Status: Happy

Worst date? Would it be the one where there was absolutely no conversation ever and as soon as the movie was over, your date asked you where you parked? Without offering to go eat or walk around and talk. Or perhaps the one where your date wouldn't stop trying to kiss you no matter how many times you backed away? Believe it or not, these are true stories, real dates that I have experienced. And people wonder why I'm single.

My friends and I seem to talk about relationships a lot. We're all around the same age, yet we all have different outlooks on dating and relationships. I have those friends that go from one serious, long-term relationship to another, thinking that they are going to marry the person they are with. I have those friends that are out to find that fairy-tale type of love. I have those friends that always seem to need someone and the ones that are unable to comprehend the idea of commitment. And then there's me.

I get terrified by the idea of just being with that one person. And most importantly, as bad as this may sound, I GET BORED. So bored, so easily. I can't seem to even get through the talking or dating part, before getting to the actual relationship. It's actually quite frustrating. I'm also picky. I don't want to settle for less though. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-relationship or anything. I'm just not trying to rush anything. It'll happen when it's supposed to. So until I find someone I like being with who doesn't bore me to death, I'm happy being single.

In the end, we all want the same thing. We want to be with someone that makes us happy, someone that gets us, someone that completes us. The only difference is how we get there and when we're ready for it. No matter how we feel about relationships, when we meet the right person, or the right person for now, it all goes down the drain. We just want to be happy. Some of us are happy being single, and others just need to have that special someone. But as long as you're happy, isn't that all that matters?

One tip though: Don't give your date a one arm side hug.


Time doesn't heal everything

Father's day. This has to be one of the most difficult days of the year.

People say it will get better with time. Yeah, well, people also lie. I've realized that dealing with loss only gets harder with time. At first, I was in a state of shock. I was numb. My mind, body, heart, everything was numb. Everything. My mind refused to register what was going on around me. So, I kept telling myself it was all a dream, and I will wake up soon. The truth is, two years later, I am still trying to convince myself that it is a dream and I'll wake up soon. The only difference is that I'm no longer numb. I can now feel the pain. I think I'd rather just be numb.

Sorry to be such a downer. It is a beautiful day. Those of you that are fortunate enough to spend it with your fathers, enjoy it, and don't take any second for granted.

Happy Father's Day.


I am a writer. Are you?

I just started summer classes. They are horrifically long and terrifyingly boring. In about six hours of class time, there was one thing I found interesting.
This video:

The video shows people from different backgrounds, different ages, and different careers answering questions about writing. What is writing? It's funny how such a clear and straight-forward question can have so many interpretations. Writing can consist of anything from novels to simple to-do lists or emails. What's even more amazing is how writing can affect us.

To me, writing is everything from expression to therapy. I seem to express myself the most clearly through writing. Somehow, my thoughts just seem to flow onto paper. I love journalism. I love writing essays for class. Weird, I know, but I would rather write an essay than take a test. I love writing on Facebook walls, well I at least try to respond. I love writing random notes to friends. I love making personalized cards and writing cute messages on them. It's more personal that way. But most of all, I love writing for myself. It helps me get my thoughts together, which is pretty important considering i'm confused about something or another most of the time. It keeps me sane. I guess some things are easier to put on paper than to say out loud. I love to write. I guess that's why I'm here.

I'll update as often as I can with random thoughts and happenings. I haven't really blogged before, so this should be interesting.

"Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals." -Don Delillo