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Miles to Go

There is always going to be something we're not quite sure of, some kind of doubt, some insecurity. What, or who, gets us past these are the people and things we know we can always count on. Whether it's your best friend, family, faith, or even a hobby, we all have something to turn to. What happens when you find that you are no longer able to count on them?

What happens when you realize that the people, places, things, and activities that once brought slight peace and happiness no longer do. Instead, you find yourself irritated and annoyed because things simply don't feel right. Nothing feels right. Are we just supposed to wander aimlessly until we finally find something that provides us with a glimpse of the same comfort that we're used to? Or do we force ourselves to love the newly found discomfort because we don't know who/what else to turn to?

As much as I'd like to blame the whole rest of the world, it's perhaps more rational that it's something I'm going through and not everyone else. Perhaps a phase that is leading to a new transformation?


Everything in Life is Gray, You Know

Things aren't always black or white. They aren't always right or wrong. There isn't always an evident answer; there is always that gray area. What we fail to realize is that people work the same way. As we are complex, so are our thoughts and feelings. So half the time we spend just trying to figure out how we feel or what exactly we think instead of realizing that there is rarely ever a clear-cut answer. Sometimes it's difficult, impossible even, to put a name onto these feelings. They are not always meant to be expressed into words.

It's okay to have mixed feelings or a combination of thoughts. However, things start getting a little messy when the feelings begin to conflict one another or when the combination of thoughts is simply irrational. Love and hate or annoyance and admiration for example, two opposing extremes, yet we find ourselves loving and hating something or getting annoyed by yet admiring them at the same time.

They say that the people we dislike most are usually the ones that remind us of ourselves, of our flaws. That's not always the case, but it seems to be true quite often. Other times, negative feelings arise from our own insecurities. When such negative feelings are directed toward us, it's okay to be a little sympathetic. It's important to still be ourselves and not let it be an excuse to act like anything less.

And then then there are times when find ourselves with extremely positive and extremely negative feelings toward one person all together. I can't help but think even the most extreme negative feelings must stem from some kind of passion. With time, one feeling will most likely overpower the other, but then again, who wants to wait for things to unfold? Especially when you find keep finding yourself in the same position weeks, months, or even years later.