Playing with Fire

What do you do when the thing you desire most is the same thing that has proven to be catastrophic? It must be avoided at all costs or you'll find yourself playing with fire. After moving forward, why regress to the harmful?

You find the universe leading you to follow your heart. Continuous signs tease you with what you can no longer have. Is it a test, a chance to prove your progress, or a sincere form of permission to let go of your inhibitions?

You begin to question your motives, intentions, feelings, everything. Is this the average case of wanting what you can't have? Perhaps, it's the obvious act of self-destruction. The distractions that seemed to occupy your mind, and possibly even your heart, not too long ago no longer seem to satisfy you. Thus proving that they were, in fact, mere distractions and nothing more. You begin to question each thought, each emotion, in an attempt to differentiate illusions from reality.

You ignore the signs for as long as possible. What are "signs" anyway? Don't they just hold as much significance as you allow them to? Seeing that car on the road meant nothing to you until you started dating and eventually broke up with an owner of one. To an extent, we see what we want to see and avoid what we can't bear to face.

So, you convince yourself that this is nothing more than a series of continuous coincidences. Continue on with your duties and responsibilities as usual. Divert your attention with anything and everything possible. Remind yourself of the previous destruction that no longer seems as horrible as it once did. Do it all yet do nothing until you reach the point when your feelings will finally surpass all possible rationale. The point when you finally decide to follow your heart, risking everything in the process.

"And it was in that moment that I realized that no matter what would be said or left unsaid, this wasn't the end. There has to be much more to this story."

Fuel for Change

There comes a time when we find ourselves at crossroad. We find ourselves at an intersection at which we have to make a decision. We can think, over-analyze and play out both situations in our minds in hopes of determining which one will be more advantageous. Although, it doesn’t really help when you are unable to predict how each route might turn out or when you can be certain that neither option will transport you to your desired destination. What’s worse is when you cannot turn to your usual allies for help. Sometimes, that’s due to false steps made in the past, and other times, it’s just nothing more than a shitty situation. Either way, there comes a time, when you just have to leave things in the hands of God, nature, fate, destiny, the universe or whatever it is you believe in and hope that they are on your side.

               

I’m completely against the idea of relying on faith only when you are facing difficulties; it is important to always be thankful and have a clear channel of communication with whomever or whatever it is you believe in. For me, that’s God. However, it is only natural to ask for help. And it is in times like these that we hope for a miracle. We expect problems and worries to immediately disappear. We expect the solution to our problem or the answer to our question to fall from the sky and hit us on the head. If only it were that simple.

Signs are usually given to us a bit more discretely. It could be something as simple as one of your favorite songs playing on the radio that just happens to have relevant lyrics or you randomly stumbling upon a quote that touches your heart and shakes your soul. Sometimes, it’s the people that unexpectedly enter your life and can somehow understand your trials and tribulations. Sometimes, it’s the comfort provided by a dear one telling you everything will be okay, whether you believe it or not. Sometimes, it’s the person you would least expect standing by your side. After all, there must be a reason for people to be placed in your life when they are.

             

 No matter how much of a control freak you may be, situations always arise in which we have no control. As much as you’d like to steer the ship in the direction of your choice, there are times when all you can do is sit back and watch it all unfold. These are the times when you should expect the worst but hope for the best. Here’s to the belief that everything happens for a reason.

Glimmer of Hope

Even in the darkest hours, a beam of light magically appears, a glimmer of hope that things just might get better. It doesn't have to be anything major. Instead, just a slight sign will do.

It's really easy to give up on people, even on the ones that mean the most to us. Our selfishness, frustration, and impatience can sometimes get the best of us. It doesn't make you a bad person by any means. However, the truth is, even if only a few out of a million words get through to a person, it just might be worth it. By no means is that a waste as long as something is getting through, as long as there is some remote chance of improvement.

And that moment when things do get through is priceless. That feeling of connecting with that person, the unity, is indescribable.