Fuel for Change

There comes a time when we find ourselves at crossroad. We find ourselves at an intersection at which we have to make a decision. We can think, over-analyze and play out both situations in our minds in hopes of determining which one will be more advantageous. Although, it doesn’t really help when you are unable to predict how each route might turn out or when you can be certain that neither option will transport you to your desired destination. What’s worse is when you cannot turn to your usual allies for help. Sometimes, that’s due to false steps made in the past, and other times, it’s just nothing more than a shitty situation. Either way, there comes a time, when you just have to leave things in the hands of God, nature, fate, destiny, the universe or whatever it is you believe in and hope that they are on your side.

               

I’m completely against the idea of relying on faith only when you are facing difficulties; it is important to always be thankful and have a clear channel of communication with whomever or whatever it is you believe in. For me, that’s God. However, it is only natural to ask for help. And it is in times like these that we hope for a miracle. We expect problems and worries to immediately disappear. We expect the solution to our problem or the answer to our question to fall from the sky and hit us on the head. If only it were that simple.

Signs are usually given to us a bit more discretely. It could be something as simple as one of your favorite songs playing on the radio that just happens to have relevant lyrics or you randomly stumbling upon a quote that touches your heart and shakes your soul. Sometimes, it’s the people that unexpectedly enter your life and can somehow understand your trials and tribulations. Sometimes, it’s the comfort provided by a dear one telling you everything will be okay, whether you believe it or not. Sometimes, it’s the person you would least expect standing by your side. After all, there must be a reason for people to be placed in your life when they are.

             

 No matter how much of a control freak you may be, situations always arise in which we have no control. As much as you’d like to steer the ship in the direction of your choice, there are times when all you can do is sit back and watch it all unfold. These are the times when you should expect the worst but hope for the best. Here’s to the belief that everything happens for a reason.

Safe Here With Me

Faith, it's what gets us through the day. Whether it's faith in God or some other sort of higher power or faith in yourself, there is something that makes each and every one of us look forward to another day. There's something that helps us get out of bed in the mornings and move on with our lives regardless of the circumstances.

Like most other things in life, faith can be inconsistent. Life-altering events, tragedies and miracles, can either wither our faith or instill it within us stronger than ever before.

As I witnessed a new-found friend's faith in one of his strongest friendships, I couldn't help but wonder when I lost sight of my own. This led me to question some of my own relationships, especially the ones that I have left behind. When did I lose faith in people and relationships? When did I start being satisfied with the idea of letting go and moving on rather than fighting for the ones that matter most?

Is it the pragmatic side of me? People come and go; it's a part of life. Just as there's a reason for them to surface when they do, there must be a reason for their departure as well. Sometimes, people simply grow apart. People seek different things from life and therefore embark on different paths to obtain them. Other times, uncontrollable factors, such as detached emotions and feelings or bad timing and distance, get in the way. It could be a clash of personalities or just an unresolved misunderstanding. Or there might be no apparent reason at all. Sometimes, relationships just fade.

People often lose significance in our lives while others gain it. That's also natural. It doesn't mean we constantly seek replacements. Everyone has their own special place in our hearts, however it's astonishing to witness how quickly things can change. How do we go from speaking to someone on a daily basis to suddenly losing all contact? Similarly, how does a stranger gain the privilege to hear about our thoughts, feelings and experiences as if they have always been a part of the journey? When the person that already knows it all disappears, how do we suddenly gain the courage to start all over with someone new?

It's all about being open to the possibilities. No one can be sure what kind of significance someone can hold in our lives or what they will have the capability of teaching us. However, once they become a part of our lives, it's almost becomes a bit ineffable to realize where we would be without them. Not in the sense that we would not survive without them, but in a more momentary sense. Had this person not entered your life, who would you be talking to at this very moment? Who would you be spending your days with? Who would you be sharing your life with? It's all part of a larger plan. We may not comprehend it in the moment, but looking back, all of the pieces suddenly somehow fall together.

Beauty in the Breakdown

Faith. It's what gets us through life, whether it's faith in ourselves or others. Either way, it is gained from what we see, what we experience. Although we see fucked up relationships that are doomed from the start, there is always that one couple that assures us that true love does exist. Although we have dealt with back-stabbers and two-faced bitches, we have had that one friend that we could always turn to, no matter what. The friendships that make us believe that relationships, platonic or not, can last through time. It is possible to grow with someone rather than grow apart.

Even though it's perfectly fine, normal even, to gain faith through these people that give us hope, what if even that one relationship goes awry? Whether it's the person you have been on and off with for years or your absolute best friend.

Whether things work out and go back to normal or not, one should always be able to find faith in themselves.

Where does that hope arise from? Possibly our self-esteem and confidence. As much as we'd like to think that we're content with ourselves, there is always that one little thing we want to change. We see one beautiful person walk by, and just for moment, we wish that we looked like them, that we were them. And if that's not the case, if you are honestly, truly content with yourself, imagine if you no longer had that one feature you love about yourself. What if your perfect skin suddenly got break-outs? What if your cosmetologist messed up your perfectly arched eyebrows? What if you suddenly lost inches of your long, silky hair?

"Confidence is key. Sometimes, you need to look like you're confident even when you're not." -Vanessa Hudgens

I recently decided to chop off my hair. I've gone through many changes with my hair these past few years. I went from extremely long to short to bob to shorter bob, and now, I somehow managed to go even shorter. I didn't think it would be a drastic change since my hair was already short, and I had become accustomed to it. However, I suddenly found myself feeling insecure, a feeling I haven't experienced in quite some time. Recently, I've been content with myself. But suddenly, with this haircut, I have found myself second-guessing those ancient insecurities. I no longer have anything to hide behind. I am out there for the world to see, flaws and insecurities included.

Yet, I don't regret it. I chose to do this. I feel like there is some kind of a race to change. I would rather make changes myself, willingly, than to have life spring something unexpected onto me. I get bored, and I need something different at all times. I like to put myself outside of my comfort zone so I can grow and progress.

"Don't be afraid of change. You may lose something good, but you may gain something better."

I might not have someone to constantly have faith in at all times and I might sometimes second guess my faith and confidence in myself, but at the end of the day, if I am making positive changes and decisions, I think I'll be alright.

"Acceptance of one's self is the first step to real beauty."