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A Thousand Forests From One Acorn

Progress. Isn't that what we all strive for at the end of the day? To get better at that one skill, to do better at work, to do better at school, to make better decisions. Isn't that what life is about? To grow into a better version of yourself.

But who can really be the judge of your progress? Sure your boss can praise you or your teacher can give you a better grade, but personal development doesn't work that way. No one else can dictate your goals, and no one else is going to pat you on the back for reaching them. You must motivate yourself.

I have found that running away, avoidance, isn't the path to growth. It's when you are able to face the temptation and turn it down that you know you've done something right. That's my way of tracking my own progress, and I must say, I'm pleased with the results. I'm not saying it's easy by any means, but the right decisions are usually the toughest. Without struggle, there is no progress.

It's never too late to be who you might have been.

Not much has changed, yet things suddenly seem so much different now. I'm unable to comprehend how the wrongs ever seemed so right or how the ease was ever so difficult.

Perhaps, we just see what we want to see, whether it's people or situations. When you're upset with someone, it's beyond easy to focus on their negative qualities and neglect the positives. Or when considering getting back with an ex, all you can remember are the laughter and butterflies. If and when you get back together, you usually remember why it didn't work out the first time.

How does someone seem no less than perfect one instant and completely lose all of their appeal the next? Perhaps because we do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.

I guess we're all just living in our own illusion of reality, our own distorted versions of life.


Series of Almosts

You can meet someone that has everything you could want in a friend/companion and more, yet if one little thing is off, if one little piece is missing, it ruins the appeal of all other qualities they possess. I'm not saying this is fair in any way, shape, or form, but let's face it, it's reality.

There is always a distinction between the head and the heart, thoughts and feelings. Although I tend to be logical most of the time, granted my imagination and creativity do get the best of me at times, I cannot get myself to ever disregard feelings. To me, if something doesn't feel right, it isn't. Unfortunately, it's not something I have control over. I can't force myself to feel a certain way. There's always that possibility of feelings changing over time, yet nothing is guaranteed.

It's when certain feelings, or lack thereof, hinder other relationships that is truly saddening.

Not only does this apply to people, but also life on a larger scale.

Life is a puzzle. All of the pieces have to fit just right in order to attain happiness. One missing piece leaves it all incomplete.

Incomplete. It's weird, I have been able to achieve a lot recently. I've been super involved, crazy busy and productive. I've met many of the goals that I had set for myself, yet there is still something missing. Somehow, that one missing piece takes away from the many pieces that I have worked hard to acquire.

Going back to people, as frustrating as it can be to be on different pages with someone, it's just as relieving to realize that your feelings toward someone are mutual and to see your actions reciprocated.

Some possibilities seem to be within reach. The only problem is, when something goes really well, everything else seems to go downhill, in my life at least. I can hope that this is the exception and it's finally time that all the pieces fall together, yet I can't help but think destruction is inevitable. Is the one missing piece really worth losing all the others? Only time will tell, and my impatience is not helping.