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High Aspirations, Moderate Expectations

When you love someone, care about someone, it's only natural to have expectations for them. You want the best for them, or your idea of what's best at least. And being on the other side, if you care about someone, you want to live up to their expectations. You want to please them, make them proud. There's nothing wrong with that except eventually you stop living for yourself and start living for others.

When is it okay to stop? For me, as soon as the thought of it crosses my mind, the guilt begins to consume me. If I start making decisions just for myself, with no consideration to the ones I love, am I not being selfish?

A good friend once said to me that the best relationships are those where you don't want anything from each other, don't expect anything. It's when you're there to simply talk, listen, and be there for each other, nothing more. No expectations, no judgement. That's when you can be yourself and accept each other for who you truly are.

Live your life. Whether it's for yourself or others, that's your decision.

Also, because we're only hours from New Years Eve, it only makes sense for me to at least mention it. Call me crazy, but I'm not big on this whole New Years thing, never have been. If you want change, it comes everyday. Resolutions, reflections, it happens everyday. You don't have to wait for the year to end and a new one to begin for all that. But I have learned a lot this year and grown tremendously. I'm hoping to learn, grow, and experience even more in 2011.

I've already decided that this year will be a good year.


In the Head, In the Heart

You would assume that everyone knows what they want in life, but the thing is, we don't. Ideas and reality are two different things. You can think up the most perfect recipe in our head, but when you try it for real, it can end up being the complete opposite of what you imagined. The same goes for people.

We believe that we know what things we want and what kind of people we like to surround ourselves with. We know what characteristics we like in people, what we admire, and what we despise. With these ideas, we end up making some sort of criteria in our heads, similar to a check list. And when someone doesn't fit that criteria, we tend to write them off. Well, nothing can happen with this person because they aren't this, or they don't have this, etc.

Ever think to look outside that box? To give someone different a chance? Give them a chance to prove you wrong? I'm guilty of not giving those people chances. However, now speaking from experience, what you least thought you wanted can end up being exactly what you were looking for. Open your eyes and heart, and give your brain a rest every once in a while. Just because something makes sense in your head, doesn't mean it will appeal to your heart, and vice versa.

Give people the opportunity to surprise you. You never know what they could have in store.


Lost the Love I Loved the Most

Angry, upset, disappointed. Some of the worst feelings, all at once.

I'm an optimist. I haven't had the perfect life, trust me, but somehow I've managed to make the best out of the situations I have found myself in. Similarly, I also tend to find the good in people. I manage to trust most people, even the ones that don't deserve it. In the end, trust yourself, and only yourself. Lesson learned. Unfortunately, most people are merely looking out for themselves. Everyone has their own motives. You are responsible for your actions and decisions; you're the one that will have to live with the consequences. No one else. It's really easy to blame everyone except yourself and find excuses in an attempt to justify yourself. It's even easier to completely avoid the situation as a whole, but it's when you are able to take responsibility for what happened that you can truly be respected.

Also, it's important to reconsider the positions of those select few who are placed on pedestals. Those people that can never do wrong. The ones that are not capable of causing harm. The ones that would never do anything to hurt you. Don't forget, they are human, after all. Even they are capable of making mistakes, all of which are not worthy of forgiveness.

In the end, it's not about what you do. What's more important is how you handle yourself after the fact. Believe it or not, that makes all the difference.

"May the bridges I burn light the way."