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Until the Stars Look Big

Caring for another and putting in effort to see them smile, make them happy, show them that you care. It seems simple enough, yet it can be one of the toughest things to do. Why? Perhaps it's the fear that your actions won't be reciprocated. Maybe it's the desire to have more power in the relationship. Or it just might be the misconception that if we refuse to show our sentiment, it will magically disappear.

I feel that there's a significant difference between caring about someone and caring for someone. Most of us, I hope, care about everyone we know, from family to acquaintances and maybe even strangers. We would be willing to help anyone in need as long as we have the necessary means to do so. However, truly caring for someone is a whole different story. It's more than simply being there for someone when some sort of crises arises and help is needed. It's more about going out of your way to do something nice for someone. It's about wanting to take care of them. It's about wanting to lessen their worries and sorrows. Why? Well, just because, just because you can, just because you want to. No reason, just because. 

What is it about those select few that land them in such a coveted position? Do they actually deserve it or are they automatically placed there due to some unbreakable bond or inexplicable connection? Maybe a bit of both. Sometimes, relationships don't have an explanation or reason why; they simply form, and they simply are.

I'm an all or nothing type of person. If I attempt something, I give it my all. Similarly, if I'm invested in someone, truly invested, I'm all in. It becomes difficult for me to hold myself back. However, the truth is that not everyone that is placed on a pedestal deserves it. What if the one you care for isn't able to display their affection? What if your efforts aren't being reciprocated? Do you continue to care because you're just that good of a person or do you stop even if that means succumbing to their carelessness? What if the random acts of kindness are what makes you who you are, and you're unwilling to lose sight of that regardless of others' actions?

That's probably the worst part, having to choose between the little acts of affection that make you who are or holding yourself back because that's what makes sense. While the tide of confusion can be agonizing, with its passing comes unquestionable clarity. If your actions refuse to be reciprocated, you will most likely lose the urge to continue the efforts. It's only natural. By the same token, if the emotions are true and strong, the mind will find a way to rationalize it. Sometimes, it just takes time to find certainty as to where others stand in your life and where you stand in theirs.

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