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Never Mine to Hold

Honestly, I haven't been content in a very, very long time. There is always something going wrong, something missing. They say that happiness is being able to look through the imperfections. However, some things are pretty damn hard to ignore. But it's also true that lately, I have had some small moments of true happiness and peace within myself. Those aren't always easy to come by. Anything from going to Jamatkhana (place of worship for Ismaili Muslims) to a nice lunch with the best friend. The simpler things I suppose.

Moments where I have felt comfortable, secure. Safe in the arms of someone I care about who I know cares about me just as much. I'm a thinker, an analyzer. I like tags, labels, and clear-cut definitions. Unfortunately, life isn't all black and white or right and wrong. It's about what's right for you, what's right at the time, what makes you happy. And all you can do is go with the flow and hope that slight feeling of happiness or contentment lasts.

A wise person once said to me that there are certain people who we never really lose feelings for. We just forget about the feelings, but as that person works their way back into our lives, the feelings do as well. Sounds accurate. Perhaps, they never really go away, they just get buried under newer thoughts, feelings, and distractions. Who knows.

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