Forget Regret

I messed up. I can't go back in time, I can't change the past, so all I can do is learn from it, right? We've all heard the phrase learn from your mistakes.It's completely cliché and absolutely right.

However, what we fail to realize most of the time is that the mistakes we make do not only effect us. Our actions effect everyone around us. Every one makes mistakes. No one is perfect. We're only human. Things are bound to go wrong and every once in a while, we make stupid decisions, some more often than others. I tend to mess up a lot. I learn from it, but if those stupid decisions effect the people I care about, it kills me. I hate knowing that I caused someone pain or worry. I guess that guilt is necessary in order to ensure that I do not make the same mistakes again.

But it would be wrong to wish that some things had never happened, because that's how we learn.

Perhaps certain situations are necessary to each of us. Another cliché saying, "everything happens for a reason." Maybe we find ourselves in certain situations because the lessons we learn from them are valuable to us at the time. They are lessons that need to be learned, things we should know. And maybe these lessons save us from an even greater mistake.

Experiences, good or bad, make us who we are and influence the people we become. It's how we grow.

"A man's errors are his portals of discovery" -James Joyce

Lose Control

Why do people have the need to control everything? Why are we given the impression that we have control over it all? Cause really, we don't. Everything is not as easy as just taking a pill, which surprisingly is not all that easy for me.

I've recently realized that sometimes not being in control can be the most beautiful. As long as I know that I've tried my best or done as much as I can, I'm content. The rest is not up to me. Whether things work out or not, at least I won't look back and blame myself for any regrets. Things don't usually turn out the way I expect them to anyway, but at least I won't wonder what if. I don't like what-ifs. Well, what if I had done this? What if I had said that? Take charge of your life, but at the same time, there is only so much each of us can do. Take advantage of what you do have control over, and learn to let go of the rest. Let life happen to you. We have control over our actions. It's important to do and say whatever is on your mind regardless of anyone else's judgments or societal norms. Don't hold yourself back. Also, don't let your pride get in the way of something you want.


Does it really matter who did something first or who said something first? We spend so much time waiting for someone else to initiate the things we desire. Who cares. In the end, you are going to be the person regretting not making that phone call or not giving that person a chance.

I'm definitely a thinker. I think too much and over-analyze everything, but I'm trying to change. If something feels right, it probably is.

Escape

We all put up walls, some are just taller or sturdier than others. It's a way to protect ourselves from emotional distress. If we don't let people in, they won't have the power to hurt us. It's really that simple. It's easier to not give a shit, because if we care, we could get hurt. So what is it about certain people that makes us care? It could be people that we don't know very well, but there's just something about them, something that makes us want to believe that they could be the exception. Are there really any exceptions, though? And the mere fact that we even remotely care enough to even be thinking about all of this is scary. It's absolutely terrifying to put yourself out there. But at times, it is necessary. Some people just get to us no matter how much we try to avoid it or don't want to admit it. We end up doing things we never thought we would. We break our own rules. That's the beauty of it. It's amazing that someone can even have that kind of affect on you. In that case, there's no harm in giving it a shot right? Who knows what that one chance, that one exception could lead up to. Sometimes, we need to stop analyzing everything and worrying about what people might think and just trust our feelings. Sometimes, it's better to use the ladder to escape what we, ourselves, have built. Escape from all the thoughts and worries, and do whatever it is that you want to do.

Zendagi Migzara

Life Goes On.

Change is so unpredictable. It is necessary, and yet at times, it seems like the worst thing that can happen. You just have to learn to deal with it, I guess. Because no matter what happens, life goes on. So, we need to stop dwelling on the past. I think that's what I need to work on. I need to stop dwelling on the past. Things just always seem better when I'm looking back at them. I tend to remember all the good stuff but neglect the bad that came with it. I can't live in the past. It's time to move on.



However, this does not mean that I will completely disregard the past. I would not be the person I am without the choices that I have made and the situations I have been through. Or as Eleanor Roosevelt said,

"I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday."

A big part of moving on is leaving certain people behind. That's the most difficult, especially when someone was once a big part of your life. But we all have to realize that things change, and no matter what you do, you can't hold that person back, especially when they don't want you to. No matter what happens, certain people just mean a lot to us, whether we like it or not.

If someone has been with us through tough times, we tend to associate them with happiness or a way to get away from everything. And we try to keep them around for that reason alone. At the same time, we try to leave people behind because we are afraid of getting stuck in the past. Truth is, sometimes we need the heroes of our past to play just a small, insignificant role in our present. Talking to them everyone once in a while or even seeing them provides us with the comfort and security that we all seek. Whether these people remain in our lives or not, the memories will forever remain with us.

Priorities

There is beauty all around us, we just get so caught up in our lives whether it's with school, work, or whatever else we may have going on at the time, that we don't even get the chance to notice it. Take a look outside: trees, flowers, the sky, just to name a few. We don't get the chance to enjoy the world around us. It can be something as simple as going to a park and having a picnic. We all live busy lives, and sometimes it is really difficult to make time, but it is possible.

It's also really important to find that balance between school, work, friends, family, and your own personal alone time. Why is it that when we have to pick, we usually end up picking any of the above over spending time with the family?

"Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted." -Paul Pearshall

So, this summer I have made it a priority to do simple things in nature, such as going to a lake or even going swimming in the middle of the night, as well as spending time with my family. My mom and brother are honestly my world.

Summer highlights so far:

Zip lining in North Carolina with my cousins. My cousins and I take an annual white water rafting trip which I always look forward to, but this year, we decided to embark on a new adventure. It was so much fun! I was harnessed to a cord in the middle of the woods and mountains, and I glided from one end of the zip to the other. The place we went to had a couple of zips overlooking the river. I basically flew over Pigeon River at 35mph, and needless to say, the view was nothing less than amazing.







Yes, that's me.











Savannah with my mom and her bffs. We spent two days at the beach just chillin, relaxin, and enjoying the water, sand, and seafood. My entire face got sunburned, and I'm a few shades darker, but I would say it was worth it. Not only do I love the beach, or water in general, but I love my mom and how close we have gotten. There's a level of respect and authority that she will always maintain as my mother, but at the same time, she is my best friend. I wouldn't trade quality time with her for anything.








Isn't she gorgeous?!









Also, I started this blog mostly just for myself and my writing, but I have gotten a lot of feedback. I'm glad a lot of people have been reading it and liking it. Whether you like something or hate something, let me know. I'm open to suggestions and would love to hear your thoughts. :)

The More You Judge, The Less You Love

"Don't judge a book by it's cover."

It's a good thought, but isn't it impossible though? We all judge. No matter of how good of a person you are, no matter how much you don't want to, it happens. It's a part of human nature. We judge people based on what we have heard about them. We judge people on how they dress, walk, talk, act. I honestly wish I had the ability to not judge, because although sometimes our first opinions about a person can be accurate, most of the time they are far from it. A friend and I were talking today about judging others and how we want to make a conscious effort to stop.


and no one is perfect, so who are we to judge anyone else? There are probably a million things wrong with me, and honestly sometimes I'm surprised that people are able to put up with me. I can be annoying, frustrating, and extremely stubborn. I know these are things I need to work on. But we all have at least a few unattractive qualities, some just find it more difficult to admit them. Since we are all far from perfect, we can't we can't expect others to be perfect. We can't judge anyone, because no matter how well you know someone, you don't know exactly what they are going through. And we can't judge people based on their past, because we're all constantly growing and changing. Everyone makes mistakes.

We all make assumptions based on what we see or hear, but the important thing is to not let these these assumptions affect the way we treat people. We must let go of these first impressions, and give the person a fair chance. Get to know them, and you'll probably be surprised by what you find.

Similarly, we all get judged as well. We can't let what other people say or think get to us. What matters is what we think of ourselves. As long as we like the person looking back at us in the mirror, nothing else matters.



Everyone is beautiful. There is beauty everywhere in everyone and everything. All you have to do is look.

Friends Forever or Friends For Now?

My life has changed drastically over the past couple of years. I've learned a lot, matured, and grown up. The sad part is, many of the people that I thought would be in my life forever, or at least for a very long time, no longer are. We're all constantly changing, so it seems utterly impossible to expect others to keep up. There are certain friends that will be by your side throughout your life, and I have been lucky enough to find a couple of those. I guess those are the ones that are changing and growing with me, while others either get stuck or move toward the opposite direction.

Are we just supposed to accept that things change and let go or should we try to keep them in our lives?

I recently spent time with a couple of friends who I went from seeing almost every single day to not seeing at all for about a year. I used to consider them some of my best friends until the drama kicked in. I figured we would eventually fix things, but it never happened. When I hung out with them recently, it was nice. I don't expect things to go back to the way they were, but it's nice to be cool again, to be able to hang out, and just talk. There's always a certain comfort level you have with some people, no matter what happens. At the same time, trying to rekindle friendships can go very wrong. Sometimes, things are just weird and awkward, and you realize that it's not easy to forget everything that happened.

I guess everyone isn't worth the effort. There are certain people that we just need to let go of, while there are others that we need to keep around. The difficult part is knowing which one is which.



Speaking of friendship, a really good friend of mine basically made my day by telling me what she thinks about me as a person. I try to the best person I can be, and if I can make the slightest difference in someone's life, that means the world to me.

"Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives that we touch" -Remember Me