Never Backed Down

As much as our connectedness amazes me, I have begun to despise the idea of dependence. Throughout the past few years, I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid having to rely on others. I’ve learned to make myself happy instead of looking for happiness in others. I’ve learned to care for myself, and if there’s something I really want, well I go out and get it, on my own of course.

I have always taken pride in this trait as I see my friends hurt, because the person they once relied on might be leaving. I heard others go on and on about losing their best friends or finding out that they were never true friends to begin with. I’ve seen the ugliest breakups and heartaches and always took pride in the fact that I did not have to go through that, and I would make sure that I never did.

Yet today, I find myself questioning this independence that I have found. Does it conflict with the forming of meaningful relationships? How meaningful could the relationship be if I wasn’t hurt by it ending? How much did I truly care if I’m able to distract myself with my demanding career, rigorous workout routine or even newly found replacements?

After all, it shouldn’t be necessary to choose between finding happiness within yourself and happiness in others. Perhaps, like most other things, one must find a balance. Extremes are never good news, no matter which way you lean.

"Don't depend too much on anyone in this world, because even your shadow leaves you in the dark."