Sometimes we lose people only to get over it and move on. Other times, we lose the people that hold our world together, our glue. Once they're gone, everything seems to fall apart. But as they say, life goes on; it doesn't stop for anyone. Slowly but surely, at some point, we have to learn to put our world back together, whether it's on our own or with the help of some loved ones. I have found that after losing the glue, it's really difficult to depend on others to make everything okay. Somehow, loss manages to instill a fear of losing other things, the rest of the people that matter most.
"Someone once said that death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us when we live."
I'm afraid this fear will cause me to miss out on all the good stuff the world has to offer. I'm afraid of depending on someone, letting someone in, getting too close, because I would be too scared to lose them too.
Today is three years since I lost my glue, and I honestly don't know how I'm still breathing or how I've managed to survive three whole years. I lost the one person that understood me better than anyone else, the one that always believed in me, always saw more potential in me than you could ever imagine, loved me unconditionally, was always there, the list goes on but I'm sure you get the idea.
"It all just seems so fake. This idea that good things happen to good people and there's magic in the world, and that the meek and righteous will inherit it. There's too many good people who suffer for something like that to be true. There are too many prayers that go unanswered. Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is, and we tell ourselves that it's all going to be okay, 'You're going to be okay.' But it's not okay. And once you know that, there's no going back. There's no magic in the world, at least today there isn't."
